Former Chico resident on how to stay married to a cop

"My family and I moved to Chico in 1973," writes Victoria Newman. "I was enrolled in John McManus Elementary, when in 4th grade, Mrs. Carroll told my mother in a teacher's conference that I had a talent for writing." Now, after marriage to a California Highway Patrol officer and four children, Newman brings that talent to fruition with "A CHiP On My Shoulder: How To Love Your Cop With Attitude" ($13.99 in paperback from Tate Publishing; also available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook e-book formats).

Written from the perspective of an officer's wife, the book is a comprehensive, insightful and honest how-to guide that will benefit any law enforcement spouse. Newman draws on her own marriage (the family now lives in Southern California where her husband Brent works) as well as interviews with dozens of other officers' wives. "It took me years to understand that when my husband puts on his uniform and weaponry, he has to put on his mind armor as well. What he does requires body and mind, even a little of his soul." It's not the time for idle chatter.

Newman is scheduled to speak and sign her book this Saturday, April 21, from 3:00 - 5:00 p.m. at Chico's Barnes and Noble.

"I've had a CHiP on my shoulder for over two decades now. We've had a wild and crazy adventure with twists and turns and some seasons I don't care to repeat. ... I love him more now than in those early days. But that love didn't grow without choosing my attitudes carefully. I'd say this is the key to the success of our marriage and the heart of this book."

Newman had to learn to "hold down the fort" when her husband wasn't available, but she also provides a cautionary note. "We married rescuers. Our guys want to be needed. We must keep this in mind, making sure that we don't become so independent that we cease to need them. I'm talking about balance here, and there is no formula." This wise book, and its associated website (how2loveyourcop.com), cover communication, emotions, building a support system, coping when hard times come, money and marriage, sex and marriage, and kids.

And "growing old together."