“Life Talks: The Conversations Continue”

Retired Butte College administrator Peggy Jennings-Severe opens her new “life talks” book with an homage to her mother, now gone more than a decade, and to her mother’s wisdom about the power of words. “We were taught that questions were the way you showed another person your interest and respect.”

In “Life Talks: The Conversations Continue” ($15 in paperback from CreateSpace; also for Amazon Kindle, with more details at facebook.com/lifetalksbook) Jennings-Severe provides a series of provocative, open-ended questions for life’s grand and not-so-grand moments. Such questions “encourage us to explore more deeply, with ourselves or others, our ideas and feelings and hear them out loud—exposing them to the light of day. …”

These questions can be added to family traditions, like holiday celebrations, which can add meaning to what might be “just another year.” For those who celebrate Christmas, there are twenty-five questions starting with the first day of December. For December 5: “If you had no money or decorations, how would you celebrate the holidays?” December 19: “Is your faith tested or strengthened, or both, during the Advent season?”

Chapters have a wide range, from questions you might (sensitively) ask in conversation with those from different cultures, to conversing with aging parents; from questions relating to “health issues, hospital stays and death” (including things to ask health care providers) to “sibling gatherings” (“In what way did our family misperceive you?”).

The author provides questions for “conversing with your children” (“Who are your heroes?”; “What is something you do really well?”) and for those in book clubs (“Would you like white wine or red wine?”; “Do any of the characters in the book have traits of people you know?”).

Each chapter opens with insightful observations about using open-ended questions as an approach to life (not as a gimmick). Jennings-Severe takes up questions for young couples, for empty nesters, those seeking the spiritual, people involved in long-distance relationships, those going through divorce. Throw in chapters on romance and sex, vacations, and reconciliation, and readers using “life talks” will learn more about themselves and those they love, and about the author as well, who has not yet met Oprah.

But there’s still time.    

Chico author on reclaiming the art of conversation

"I live with my husband and a pair of yellow labs in Northern California," writes Peggy Jennings-Severe, "and am currently a student services administrator" at Butte College. And, oh yes: "I want to meet Oprah."

While Oprah can talk to anyone about anything, it seems, striking up a conversation is for many people something of a lost art. Over the years Jennings-Severe "watched older couples at restaurants, seated across from each other, eating in silence, which felt incredibly sad and lonely to me." Going out on a dinner date with husband Rhys was awkward: "It was if I had nothing to say that didn't begin with or include our children."

Yet people yearn for meaningful contact. What if they had a fun way to start the conversation? "Although my family, friends, and colleagues chuckle, roll their eyes, and mildly moan when I tell them it's time for verbal cards or begin an activity designed to break the ice, I think they secretly look forward to it--well, maybe not all, but most."

What changed the author's family is now available in book form. "Life Talks: A Guide To Bringing Back Conversation" ($15 in paperback from CreateSpace; also in Amazon Kindle e-book format) offers key questions and activities for baby showers, reunions, long car rides, retirement, Valentine's Day, and many more (see lifetalksbook.com).

Lyon Books in downtown Chico will be hosting a book signing (and conversation!) Monday, August 26 at 7:00 p.m.

For birthday parties, the group gets in a circle and someone begins by saying "'What I appreciate about __ is...' (No sarcasm is allowed.)" Such verbal cards last far longer than Hallmark. The birthday person joins in, too: "What is the most valuable lesson you learned last year?" "What questions about your life do you want answered in the coming year?" At family gatherings, members sort cards each with a quality written on it, like "creativity," "religion" "winning." Which are the most important, or least important? Surprises abound as the conversation gets going.

Thanksgiving gatherings are a great place to start. "What five things remain on your bucket list?" "You have been given unlimited resources to create a totally new and unique theme park. What would it be?"

This book will get people talking.