“Getting It Write: (Mostly) Unpublished Writing 1974–2025”

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved to write,” writes Chicoan Stephen Metzger, who taught writing, literature, and journalism at Chico State from 1982-2010 and composition at Butte College from 2010-2018. He’s also been a freelance writer since the early 80’s, successfully publishing some 500 pieces in all kinds of publications. Yet some of his work, “despite my highest hopes,” never saw the light of day.

Until now. Welcome to a miscellany of humor, essays, poetry, commercials, and one-act plays (which entertained Chico audiences in the early 2000s), works “that I didn’t want to disappear.” A breezy read, “Getting It Write: (Mostly) Unpublished Writing 1974–2025” ($20 in paperback from Stansbury Publishing) is an antidote to the terribly serious business of real world events. 

Metzger’s cockeyed sense of humor and twisty points of view may explain why he failed repeatedly to win the famed cartoon caption contest at the New Yorker magazine (despite his entries being “way funnier” than the winners). But never mind that. He’s out to serve the public with “This Week’s Pets,” a list of “abandoned pets” needing “loving homes.” 

Take Arnold: “a spunky young Rottweiler/German shepherd mix, trained to respond to German. He knows ‘Fassen!’ (‘Attack!’) but is still learning ‘Aus!’ (‘Let Go!’). Arnold would do well in a home with an English-German dictionary, a heavy-duty cage, pepper spray, mace, a taser, and a six-foot steel pole with chain.”

Have a go at a riddle poem: “Blinded, I show you/ Nothing.// Undressed, I show you/ Mountains, back yards,/ Sunsets.// From outside: lamps, sofas,/ Kitchen sinks.// When I come clean/ You can’t see me./ You feel my pain.” (The answer is in the following: wodniw.)

He offers serious advice: “Remember that there are smart people who disagree with you and stupid people who agree.”

There’s language advice, too, from Metzger’s “The Writer’s Way” textbook: “Trust me here: when in doubt, use ‘who’ instead of ‘whom,’ since ‘whom’ when it should be ‘who’ sounds way worse than ‘who’ when it should be ‘whom.’” An example: “This is my brother, whom loves to fish. (Wrong: And sounds really stupid.)”

Metzger’s drollery abounds, for whomever needs it.

"Chicken Soup For The Soul: Laughter Is The Best Medicine"

There are hundreds of "Chicken Soup For The Soul" titles in print. The goal of the series, under the editorship of Amy Newmark, is to bring readers "inspirational and aspirational true stories curated from ordinary people who have had extraordinary experiences."

The newest volume, though, focuses on gentle humor: true-life silly situations, embarrassing moments, animal antics, "work whoops," "domestic disasters," and moments that are "innocently inappropriate."

"Chicken Soup For The Soul: Laughter Is The Best Medicine" ($14.95 in paperback from Chicken Soup For The Soul; also for Amazon Kindle) presents 101 vignettes from real people, including Chicoan Gwen Sheldon Willadsen. She's "a retired professor. Her retirement hobbies include spending time with her grandkids, genealogy research, travel, and writing memoir and genealogy stories."

Her short piece, entitled "Eddie," fits into the "mistaken identity" category. It all begins simply enough: "'Welcome to the neighborhood,' said Kelsey and Jim, our neighbors who lived across the street from our new house. As we chatted, Eddie, their short, portly, wrinkled bulldog, sauntered over for an introduction and to check us out. He was slow-moving and mellow but curious. Eddie hung out nearby while we got to know Kelsey and Jim."

A few weeks later her husband Paul walks across the street to visit Jim; turns out they both love cycling. But Paul can't quite remember Jim's name. He hears Kelsey outside yell "Eddie!" (who was eating the flowers) and figures that is the man's name. And that's the name he uses. Jim never corrects Paul; when Paul returns home to talk about the conversation, Willadsen explains who the real Eddie is. Embarrassment? Sure. But it turns to laughter and a long-term friendship.

Joan Dubay's two-year-old grandson describes Jesus as an orange square. Where's Jesus? Up there in the cupboard, pointing to the Cheez-Its....

Viji K. Chary's five-year-old daughter takes to saying "one sec" every time she is asked to do a chore. Frustrated, Chary yells out "No more secs!" Just then her husband walks in....

Robin K. Melvin, exhausted, reaches for the tube of toothpaste and brushes her teeth with Preparation H.

These stories will provide soothing relief just where it's needed.